How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel PDF Author: Howard Mittelmark
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061862894
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly. "It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!" Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel PDF Author: Howard Mittelmark
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061862894
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Get Book

Book Description
"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly. "It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!" Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel PDF Author: Howard Mittelmark
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
ISBN: 9780061357954
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly. "It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!" Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

The Scribe Method

The Scribe Method PDF Author: Tucker Max
Publisher: Lioncrest Publishing
ISBN: 1544514050
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 300

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Book Description
Ready to write your book? So why haven’t you done it yet? If you’re like most nonfiction authors, fears are holding you back. Sound familiar? Is my idea good enough? How do I structure a book? What exactly are the steps to write it? How do I stay motivated? What if I actually finish it, and it’s bad? Worst of all: what if I publish it, and no one cares? How do I know if I’m even doing the right things? The truth is, writing a book can be scary and overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to be. There’s a way to know you’re on the right path and taking the right steps. How? By using a method that’s been validated with thousands of other Authors just like you. In fact, it’s the same exact process used to produce dozens of big bestsellers–including David Goggins’s Can’t Hurt Me, Tiffany Haddish’s The Last Black Unicorn, and Joey Coleman’s Never Lose a Customer Again. The Scribe Method is the tested and proven process that will help you navigate the entire book-writing process from start to finish–the right way. Written by 4x New York Times Bestselling Author Tucker Max and publishing expert Zach Obront, you’ll learn the step-by-step method that has helped over 1,500 authors write and publish their books. Now a Wall Street Journal Bestseller itself, The Scribe Method is specifically designed for business leaders, personal development gurus, entrepreneurs, and any expert in their field who has accumulated years of hard-won knowledge and wants to put it out into the world. Forget the rest of the books written by pretenders. This is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants to professionally write a great nonfiction book.

How to Write a Novel

How to Write a Novel PDF Author: Nathan Bransford
Publisher: Nathan Bransford
ISBN: 173414940X
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 183

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Book Description
Author and former literary agent Nathan Bransford shares his secrets for creating killer plots, fleshing out your first ideas, crafting compelling characters, and staying sane in the process. Read the guide that New York Times bestselling author Ransom Riggs called "The best how-to-write-a-novel book I've read."

How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel PDF Author: Howard Mittelmark
Publisher: Penguin Group
ISBN: 9780141038544
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
There are many ways prospective authors routinely sabotage their own work. But why leave it to guesswork? This title shows how you can ensure that your manuscript never rises above the level of unpublishable drivel; that your characters are unpleasant, dimensionless versions of yourself; and that your plot is digressive, tedious and unconvincing.

The Haunted Looking Glass

The Haunted Looking Glass PDF Author: Edward Gorey
Publisher: New York Review of Books
ISBN: 9780940322684
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 278

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Book Description
The Haunted Looking Glass is the late Edward Gorey's selection of his favorite tales of ghosts, ghouls, and grisly goings-on. It includes stories by Charles Dickens, Wilkie Collins, M. R. James, W. W. Jacobs, and L. P. Hartley, among other masters of the fine art of making the flesh creep, all accompanied by Gorey's inimitable illustrations. ALGERNON BLACKWOOD, "The Empty House" W.F. HARVEY, "August Heat" CHARLES DICKENS, "The Signalman" L.P. HARTLEY, "A Visitor from Down Under" R.H. MALDEN, "The Thirteenth Tree" ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON, "The Body-Snatcher" E. NESBIT, "Man-Size in Marble" BRAM STOKER, "The Judge's House" TOM HOOD, "The Shadow of a Shade" W.W. JACOBS, "The Monkey's Paw," WILKIE COLLINS, "The Dream Woman" M.R. JAMES, "Casting the Runes"

How to Write a Novella in 24 Hours

How to Write a Novella in 24 Hours PDF Author: Andrew Mayne
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781518685637
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 90

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Book Description
Andrew Mayne, star of A&E's Don't Trust Andrew Mayne and ranked the fifth best-selling independent author of the year by Amazon UK, presents insider advice from marathon writing to how to create a professional book cover in just ten minutes.+ How to write a novella in 24 hours+ How to start building your empire+ How long should a story be?+ How to write a bestselling novel on your iPhone+ The secret to making a book cover (that mostly doesn't suck) in 10 minutes or less+ Why you're staring at a blank screen+ One Weird Trick to Boost Your Creativity+ Your worst idea may be your greatest+ You suck at taking criticism+ The Curse of a Creative Mind

How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel PDF Author: David Armstrong
Publisher: Allison & Busby
ISBN: 0749011351
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 174

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Book Description
Every week, agents and publishers in this country receive hundreds of manuscripts from would-be authors. Of these, fewer than one per cent will make it into print. David Armstrong was one of the one per-centers, his first crime novel plucked from the slush pile at a major publisher and published to acclaim. So far, so good. But it rapidly became clear to Armstrong that being a published novelist is not always as glamorous as it seems from the outside. There are the depressing, ill-attended readings, the bitchy writers' conventions, the bookshops who have never heard of you and don't stock your book. All of these will be familiar to any writer who, like Armstrong, falls into to the category euphemistically known in publishing as 'midlist'. The reality is that for every JK Rowling, there are 1,000 David Armstrongs; for every writer who is put up in a five-star hotel and flies first class courtesy of their publisher, there are 1,000 who sleep on friend's floors during book tours and dine at motorway service stations...Witty, acerbic and wise, How Not to Write a Novel lifts the lid on publishing. From agents to editors, publicists to sales reps, it explains the publishing process - and how to survive it - from the point of view of a non-bestselling writer. A unique book, it is essential reading for anyone who dreams of getting their novel published - and for anyone curious about the inside workings of the publishing game.

Geek Love

Geek Love PDF Author: Katherine Dunn
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 0307794482
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 480

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Book Description
National Book Award Finalist • Here is the unforgettable story of the Binewskis, a circus-geek family whose matriarch and patriarch have bred their own exhibit of human oddities--with the help of amphetamines, arsenic, and radioisotopes. Their offspring include Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition worthy of Genghis Khan . . . Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins . . . albino hunchback Oly, and the outwardly normal Chick, whose mysterious gifts make him the family’s most precious—and dangerous—asset. As the Binewskis take their act across the backwaters of the U.S., inspiring fanatical devotion and murderous revulsion; as its members conduct their own Machiavellian version of sibling rivalry, Geek Love throws its sulfurous light on our notions of the freakish and the normal, the beautiful and the ugly, the holy and the obscene. Family values will never be the same.

Writing Irresistible Kidlit

Writing Irresistible Kidlit PDF Author: Mary Kole
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1599635763
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
Captivate the hearts and minds of young adult readers! Writing for young adult (YA) and middle grade (MG) audiences isn't just "kid's stuff" anymore--it's kidlit! The YA and MG book markets are healthier and more robust than ever, and that means the competition is fiercer, too. In Writing Irresistible Kidlit, literary agent Mary Kole shares her expertise on writing novels for young adult and middle grade readers and teaches you how to: • Recognize the differences between middle grade and young adult audiences and how it impacts your writing. • Tailor your manuscript's tone, length, and content to your readership. • Avoid common mistakes and cliches that are prevalent in YA and MG fiction, in respect to characters, story ideas, plot structure and more. • Develop themes and ideas in your novel that will strike emotional chords. Mary Kole's candid commentary and insightful observations, as well as a collection of book excerpts and personal insights from bestselling authors and editors who specialize in the children's book market, are invaluable tools for your kidlit career. If you want the skills, techniques, and know-how you need to craft memorable stories for teens and tweens, Writing Irresistible Kidlit can give them to you.