When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends PDF Author: Victoria Secunda
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 0307431304
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 428

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Book Description
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends PDF Author: Victoria Secunda
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 0307431304
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 428

Get Book

Book Description
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends PDF Author: Victoria Secunda
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780517098967
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description


Grown and Flown

Grown and Flown PDF Author: Lisa Heffernan
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250188954
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 352

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Book Description
PARENTING NEVER ENDS. From the founders of the #1 site for parents of teens and young adults comes an essential guide for building strong relationships with your teens and preparing them to successfully launch into adulthood The high school and college years: an extended roller coaster of academics, friends, first loves, first break-ups, driver’s ed, jobs, and everything in between. Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Enter the co-founders of Grown and Flown, Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington. In the midst of guiding their own kids through this transition, they launched what has become the largest website and online community for parents of fifteen to twenty-five year olds. Now they’ve compiled new takeaways and fresh insights from all that they’ve learned into this handy, must-have guide. Grown and Flown is a one-stop resource for parenting teenagers, leading up to—and through—high school and those first years of independence. It covers everything from the monumental (how to let your kids go) to the mundane (how to shop for a dorm room). Organized by topic—such as academics, anxiety and mental health, college life—it features a combination of stories, advice from professionals, and practical sidebars. Consider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection.

Mothers Who Can't Love

Mothers Who Can't Love PDF Author: Susan Forward
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062204351
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love. Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.

Nobody's Baby Now

Nobody's Baby Now PDF Author: Susan Newman
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN: 0802714072
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 260

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Book Description
Offers strategies and techniques for improving the relationship between adult children and their parents, discussing familiar challenges such as holiday conflicts, money issues, children, and guilt trips.

I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!

I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You! PDF Author: Roni Cohen-Sandler
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101076984
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 289

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Book Description
For mothers who are reeling from the rockiness of an ever-changing adolescent, or struggling with a relationship that's deteriorating by the day, here is encouragement, reassurance, and great advice. "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" discusses the social, emotional, cultural, and psychological issues that can lead to mother-daughter conflicts. It offers illuminating and very recognizable case studies, and demonstrates how mother-daughter friction during adolescence can actually empower girls by teaching them invaluable skills. By providing mothers with much-needed encouragement and practical strategies to help their daughters grow into emotionally healthy and capable adults, "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" can transform the tempestuous teenage years into years of positive, enriching growth.

High-Risk Homosexual

High-Risk Homosexual PDF Author: Edgar Gomez
Publisher: Catapult
ISBN: 1593767064
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 252

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Book Description
*Winner of the Lambda Literary Award for Gay Memoir/Biography* An Honor Book for the 2023 Stonewall Book Award—Israel Fishman Non-Fiction Book Award This witty memoir traces a touching and often hilarious spiralic path to embracing a gay, Latinx identity against a culture of machismo—from a cockfighting ring in Nicaragua to cities across the U.S.—and the bath houses, night clubs, and drag queens who help redefine pride I’ve always found the definition of machismo to be ironic, considering that pride is a word almost unanimously associated with queer people, the enemy of machistas . . . In a world desperate to erase us, queer Latinx men must find ways to hold on to pride for survival, but excessive male pride is often what we are battling, both in ourselves and in others. A debut memoir about coming of age as a gay, Latinx man, High-Risk Homosexual opens in the ultimate anti-gay space: Edgar Gomez’s uncle’s cockfighting ring in Nicaragua, where he was sent at thirteen years old to become a man. Readers follow Gomez through the queer spaces where he learned to love being gay and Latinx, including Pulse nightclub in Orlando, a drag queen convention in Los Angeles, and the doctor’s office where he was diagnosed a “high-risk homosexual.” With vulnerability, humor, and quick-witted insights into racial, sexual, familial, and professional power dynamics, Gomez shares a hard-won path to taking pride in the parts of himself he was taught to keep hidden. His story is a scintillating, beautiful reminder of the importance of leaving space for joy.

How to Make Friends and Monsters

How to Make Friends and Monsters PDF Author: Ron Bates
Publisher: Zonderkidz
ISBN: 0310735521
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 224

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Book Description
Howard Boward, a 13-year-old boy-genius with a chip on his shoulder is too smart for his own good. He has troubles making friends—possibly because he complains so much. Until one day a science experiment goes haywire, and Howard creates a best friend for himself—Franklin—who also happens to be a monster. Creating Franklin was an accident, not like Howard was playing God or anything—or so Howard tells himself. Franklin and Howard are having so much fun, Howard decides to create more “friends,” using DNA from kids at school. Only, these friends aren’t quite as friendly. Soon there’s a major mess and Howard has to sort it all out before the monsters destroy their human counterparts. But terminating the monsters proves harder than he imagined. They didn’t choose to be monsters; they can’t go against their innate nature. Howard finds himself facing consequences for playing God. Getting rid of the monsters means learning to tame his own inner beast, and Howard begins to understand the meaning of free will and true friendship

Will I Ever be Good Enough?

Will I Ever be Good Enough? PDF Author: Karyl McBride
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416551328
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 275

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Book Description
A resource for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder explains how to manage feelings of inadequacy and abandonment in the face of inappropriate maternal expectations and conditional love, in a step-by-step guide that shares recommendations for creating a personalized program for self-protection and recovery. 50,000 first printing.

My Mother, My Friend

My Mother, My Friend PDF Author: Mary Marcdante
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743215974
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 212

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Book Description
Every woman has things that she wants to talk about with her mother -- but can't. Big questions about health, aging and money, and even more personal issues about family secrets and Mom's relationship with Dad have made for extremely difficult conversations -- until now. In My Mother, My Friend, communications expert and beloved national speaker Mary Marcdante demonstrates simple strategies and time-tested techniques for breaking down the barriers. She shows step by step how to build a more loving and authentic relationship with your mother by looking at such issues as: Health and Sexuality Money Resolving Conflict Family Secrets Spirituality ...And more Drawing from her nationwide workshops as well as from personal experience, Mary Marcdante shows us that these conversations not only matter, but can also be deeply enriching.