Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'til I'm A Size 6

Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'til I'm A Size 6 PDF Author: Susan Reinhardt
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758253567
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 292

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Book Description
Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think. --Laurie Notaro Like an edgier, naughtier, southern-bred Erma Bombeck, award-winning columnist Susan Reinhardt has made diehard fans of fellow writers and newspaper readers across the country with her wickedly skewed reports from the trenches of American family life. In this collection of never-before-published essays and stories, she takes her uncensored trademark wit just a little further than ever before--with hilarious and poignant results. From telling off a too-perfect sorority sister twenty years later to going public with her "grumpy vagina"; from facing down those who would judge her in a mall ladies' room to eulogizing her beloved smokin' granny, Reinhardt cuts straight to the heart of the sublime, the ridiculous--and the saggy--realities of being a working wife, mother, and certified slave to a culture that worships women who sport thighs the size of her upper arms. "Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think." --Laurie Notaro "Surgical patients should forgo reading this book until all sutures are completely healed. Susan Reinhardt is a riot!"--Jill Conner Browne "Funny, wise, and warm. . .from sidesplitting to achingly tender." --Celia Riverbank "Hilarious, captivating. . .no one is more accomplished at the fine Southern art of storytelling than Susan Reinhardt."--Ronda Rich Susan Reinhardt is a syndicated columnist and feature writer whose work has appeared all over the world in major newspapers such as the Washington Post, London Daily Mirror, Newsday, and other Tribune Media and Gannett publications. Reinhardt has won dozens of awards for her writing, including several Best of Gannett honors and a Pulitzer nomination. A long-time volunteer fundraiser for Hospice, the United Way, the American Lymphoma and Leukemia society, the PTO and other worthwhile and not so worthwhile causes, Reinhardt is also a proud member of the Not Quite Write Book Club, a group of ten women who drink wine and pretend to act literary. A true Daughter of the South, Susan Reinhardt was born in South Carolina, was raised in Georgia and currently makes her home in Asheville, North Carolina, the jewel city of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has two adorable children and still calls her mama every night.

Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'til I'm A Size 6

Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'til I'm A Size 6 PDF Author: Susan Reinhardt
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758253567
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Get Book

Book Description
Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think. --Laurie Notaro Like an edgier, naughtier, southern-bred Erma Bombeck, award-winning columnist Susan Reinhardt has made diehard fans of fellow writers and newspaper readers across the country with her wickedly skewed reports from the trenches of American family life. In this collection of never-before-published essays and stories, she takes her uncensored trademark wit just a little further than ever before--with hilarious and poignant results. From telling off a too-perfect sorority sister twenty years later to going public with her "grumpy vagina"; from facing down those who would judge her in a mall ladies' room to eulogizing her beloved smokin' granny, Reinhardt cuts straight to the heart of the sublime, the ridiculous--and the saggy--realities of being a working wife, mother, and certified slave to a culture that worships women who sport thighs the size of her upper arms. "Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think." --Laurie Notaro "Surgical patients should forgo reading this book until all sutures are completely healed. Susan Reinhardt is a riot!"--Jill Conner Browne "Funny, wise, and warm. . .from sidesplitting to achingly tender." --Celia Riverbank "Hilarious, captivating. . .no one is more accomplished at the fine Southern art of storytelling than Susan Reinhardt."--Ronda Rich Susan Reinhardt is a syndicated columnist and feature writer whose work has appeared all over the world in major newspapers such as the Washington Post, London Daily Mirror, Newsday, and other Tribune Media and Gannett publications. Reinhardt has won dozens of awards for her writing, including several Best of Gannett honors and a Pulitzer nomination. A long-time volunteer fundraiser for Hospice, the United Way, the American Lymphoma and Leukemia society, the PTO and other worthwhile and not so worthwhile causes, Reinhardt is also a proud member of the Not Quite Write Book Club, a group of ten women who drink wine and pretend to act literary. A true Daughter of the South, Susan Reinhardt was born in South Carolina, was raised in Georgia and currently makes her home in Asheville, North Carolina, the jewel city of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has two adorable children and still calls her mama every night.

Don't Sleep With A Bubba: Unless Your Eggs Are In Wheelchairs

Don't Sleep With A Bubba: Unless Your Eggs Are In Wheelchairs PDF Author: Susan Reinhardt
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 0758282923
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 456

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Book Description
The Southern Belle's answer to David Sedaris. --Karin Gillespie "She's like a modern-day, southern-fried Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry."--Booklist Aimed at anyone with a funny bone, these all new stories and essays by Gannett-syndicated columnist Susan Reinhardt tackle domestic life, particularly of the Southern persuasion, with sidesplitting observations and searing confessions. Reinhardt candidly lets readers into her world as she goes mano a mano with her Bubba of a husband--and occasionally her mother. From discovering she's getting a dreaded "front fanny" to revealing her husband's experiments with a Norelco shaver and their Pomeranian pooch, Reinhardt scrapes bare the bedrock truth about married life and love. She also poignantly shares her struggles with a depression that secretly plunged her downward and her reaction to the unexpected helping hands that pulled her up. Totally uncensored and blisteringly honest, Reinhardt is all heart--and a storyteller to savor and remember. "So engaging. . .so honest. . .will make you laugh out loud."--The Asheville Citizen-Times "Like hanging out with your bluntest, most mischievous friend, the one who never fails to crack you up." --Chicago Sun-Times "Funny and touching. . .Reinhardt is not afraid to put it all out there."--The Pilot (N.C.) "Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. . . will have you holding your sides the whole time." --Laurie Notaro, Autobiography of a Fat Girl "She can break your heart in one sentence and leave you laughing till you're breathless in the next." --Julie Cannon, True Love & Homegrown Tomatoes Susan Reinhardt is a syndicated columnist and feature writer whose work has appeared all over the world in major newspapers such as the Washington Post, London Daily Mirror, Newsday, and other Tribune Media and Gannett publications. Reinhardt has won dozens of awards for her writing, including several Best of Gannett honors and a Pulitzer Prize nomination. A long-time volunteer fund-raiser for Hospice, the United Way, the American Lymphoma and Leukemia Society, the PTO and other worthwhile and not so worthwhile causes, Reinhardt is also a proud member of the Not Quite Write Book Club, a group of ten women who drink wine and pretend to act literary. A true Daughter of the South, Susan Reinhardt was born in South Carolina, was raised in Georgia, and currently makes her home in Asheville, North Carolina, the jewel city of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has two adorable children and still calls her mama every night.

Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin

Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin PDF Author: Susan Reinhardt
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 9780758217097
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244

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Book Description
A syndicated columnist, spokeswoman for skewed southern bellehood, and the worst cook ever presents a hilarious new collection of food stories, culinary disasters, and recipes. Original.

Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir

Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir PDF Author: Tracy Beckerman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101622237
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 274

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Book Description
It’s a suburban jungle out there When syndicated columnist Tracy Beckerman trades in her TV job and cool NYC existence for the New Jersey suburbs, she doesn’t expect to also trade in her entire identity. But her new life as a stay-at-home mom knocks her for a loop in more ways than one. From the embarrassment of being ticketed while driving in her bathrobe to the challenge of making friends in the land of big hair and minivans, Beckerman shares her struggles with self-deprecating humor as she endeavors to reclaim her cool. Beckerman reveals the universal trials, tribulations, and triumphs of every mom who has to figure out how to stay sane while fishing Barbie heads out of the toilet; how to laugh when your kid asks the fat cop at the doughnut shop if he’s having a baby; and how to look good when your post-baby butt is so big you want to hang a “Caution: Wide Load” sign behind you. At once irreverent, hilarious, and keenly observed, Lost in Suburbia is about what you give up to become a mother—and what you get back.

You're Not the Boss of Me

You're Not the Boss of Me PDF Author: Erika Schickel
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 9780758215376
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244

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Book Description
In this devilishly clever memoir, a Los Angeles writer shares her hilarious observations on marriage and motherhood, from a no-holds-barred account of her pregnancy from hell to her intense hatred of her practical mommy minivan. Original.

Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle

Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle PDF Author: Susan Reinhardt
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781935130628
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 386

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Book Description
Most people think the reason Dee Millings married the best looking man in the Carolinas, who turned out to be a complete psycho and near-murderer, is because she was raised all wrong. Dee, a 38-year-old heroine to root for, sets out on a path winding with loveable kooks, wanting to prove there is a great life on the other side of tragedy and a crazed ex behind bars who continues to mail threatening letters from prison. Her new adventure begins two years after the crime spree that nearly stopped her heart and left her flat-lining. She packs up her two young kids and settles in her parents' South Carolina hometown where she deals with a delightful, but over-the-top mama who pretends her grown daughters are virgins. Dee finds new purpose for herself and her children, discovering joy in places she never expected it: in a nursing home where she tends to the likes of 104-year-old Annie Sue who still drives and has a hankering for cold draft beer. Offering heaps of comic relief, Dee's Aunt Weepie lives to crash funerals just to get the covered-dish meals after the gravesides, no matter she has no idea who's in the coffins. Her antics lead her to making a daring decision that could change Dee's life forever. As Dee begins a journey toward recovery and becoming a registered nurse, a dark secret resurfaces, one that if handled right, could be her ticket to allow herself to love again.

Tender Graces

Tender Graces PDF Author: Kathryn Magendie
Publisher: BelleBooks
ISBN: 193566137X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 316

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Book Description
Book one in The Graces saga, following the emotional journey of a woman attempting to resolve the damage of her childhood with a loving but alcoholic father and a beautiful, selfish, often heartbreakingly self-deluding mother. Gorgeous lyrical storytelling and poignant human insights. By acclaimed poet and short story author Kathryn Magendie.

Bubba's Dawg Might Be a Redneck

Bubba's Dawg Might Be a Redneck PDF Author: W. R. Benton
Publisher: Fultus Corporation
ISBN: 1596820454
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 314

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Book Description
Have you ever wondered how true Southerners live? Have you ever thought much about how they see life and how they react to the different things that happen every day to each of us? Take look at Dixie Land as few folks ever see it, as it really is! See it through the eyes of award winning Writer, Cartoonist, and Southern Humorist, W.R. Benton. Visit Bubba Lee, Maude, Nadine Lucille, Bobby Dale, Willie Eugene and the rest of the 'Possum Holler gang as they face life as Rednecks, which puts them in the mentally challenged category of life.

Southern Fatality

Southern Fatality PDF Author: T. Lynn Ocean
Publisher: Minotaur Books
ISBN: 1429985976
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308

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Book Description
In Southern Fatality, T. Lynn Ocean serves up an action-packed, sun-soaked adventure set in the historic port city of Wilmington, North Carolina. Jersey Barnes thinks she has retired from a risk-filled career as a private security specialist. A sexy, hard-hitting brunette, she's ready to enjoy her newfound free time and is looking forward to leaving home without a weapon. But when her boyfriend asks her for a simple favor, she can't turn him down. What should be a routine surveillance job lands Jersey smack-dab in the middle of a high-stakes cover-up, a double kidnapping, and a scheme that may steal millions of dollars from hard-working Americans. With input from her business partner, Ox (a Lumbee Indian whose savory looks she can't quite ignore), a comedic group of her aging father's poker buddies, a computer hacker named Soup, and a faithful dog, Jersey sets out to prevent what might be the cyber crime of the century

P.S. Don't Tell Your Mother

P.S. Don't Tell Your Mother PDF Author: Margo Bates
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1452030480
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 158

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Book Description
Margo Bates' debut novel brings to life the rough-and-tumble world of Canada's frontier northwest in the late 50's and early 60's. Telkwa is not much different from other small towns or tight-knit neighborhoods across North America. There is always one character or curmudgeon that is larger than life about which the townsfolk enjoy hearing stories. In Telkwa, it is Nana Noonan. Readers are immediately drawn to the small-town goings on through the hundreds of letters to her granddaughter, Maggie Mulvaney. Maggie likes it that Nana is Irish, but she has a temper. There are lots of things that get her going. Telkwa's only Jehovah's Witness tops her list. "That Damn Jehovah!" is the incessant phrase in the hundreds of letters Nana sends Maggie. Living 150 miles apart, Nana and her letters show Maggie the human aspects of life. The Jehovah's Witness is hell-bent on saving Nana. His high hopes on salvation equal her intent to remain as she is: hell-bent on being herself. After all, she is an Anglican. To Nana, the Jehovah's Witness is not just trying to impose his religion - he also represents an ugly undercurrent in northern and rural Canada in the 1960's - prejudice. He doesn't like Nana's best friend, a native Indian named Tyee Mary. In this humorous and touching tale, Margo shows how her Nana stands up to prejudice in the north. She does it the only way she knows how - using her Irish temper and some fine-tuning from a shotgun. Nana tells Maggie it is important to be fair to your fellow humans. As long as they don't drive you to do something foolish. Maggie thinks about the lessons learned at Nana's knee. She writes back and offers suggestions on how Nana might better deal with the Jehovah's Witness. The townsfolk place bets on Nana and the Jehovah's Witness and when they will have their next set to. Cash exchanges hands on a fairly regular basis. Only two people visit Nana more often than her family: Constable Reems of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and her ill-fated devotee, who visits every Saturday, rain, shine, sleet or snow. Nana and the Jehovah's Witness reach a stalemate one fall day in 1960. Nana, her Irish temper and accuracy with a gun get the better of her. And "That Damn Jehovah." Gloria Macarenko, Anchor at CBC Television News, praised the book: "I love the way Margo Bates captures the essence and eccentricities of life in a small northern town, as she highlights the conspiratory relationship between a young girl and her kooky grandmother. As someone who grew up in the north, I can relate to the quirky and comical scenarios that are so much a part of small town life. Everyone needs a bit of Nana in their lives!"