Haikus for Jews

Haikus for Jews PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 060960502X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 113

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Book Description
Why is this haiku book different from all other haiku books? For centuries, the Japanese haiku has been one of the world's most dazzling poetic forms. In just three short lines, it captures the sublime beauty of nature--the croak of the bullfrog, the buzzing of the dragonfly, the shriek of the cicada, the scream of the cormorant. Now, with Haikus for Jews, there is finally a collection that celebrates the many advantages of staying indoors. Inspired by ancient Zen teachings and timeless Jewish noodging, this masterful work is filled with insights that will make you exclaim, "Ah!" or at least "Oy!" Whether you are Jewish or you simply enjoy a good kosher haiku, these chai-kus (so called because of their high chutzpah content) are certain to amuse. What's more, with each poem limited to seventeen syllables, Haikus for Jews is perfect for people in a hurry. Find out why God has made these The Chosen Haikus.

Haikus for Jews

Haikus for Jews PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 060960502X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 113

Get Book

Book Description
Why is this haiku book different from all other haiku books? For centuries, the Japanese haiku has been one of the world's most dazzling poetic forms. In just three short lines, it captures the sublime beauty of nature--the croak of the bullfrog, the buzzing of the dragonfly, the shriek of the cicada, the scream of the cormorant. Now, with Haikus for Jews, there is finally a collection that celebrates the many advantages of staying indoors. Inspired by ancient Zen teachings and timeless Jewish noodging, this masterful work is filled with insights that will make you exclaim, "Ah!" or at least "Oy!" Whether you are Jewish or you simply enjoy a good kosher haiku, these chai-kus (so called because of their high chutzpah content) are certain to amuse. What's more, with each poem limited to seventeen syllables, Haikus for Jews is perfect for people in a hurry. Find out why God has made these The Chosen Haikus.

Haikus for Jews

Haikus for Jews PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 0307420833
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 113

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Book Description
Why is this haiku book different from all other haiku books? For centuries, the Japanese haiku has been one of the world's most dazzling poetic forms. In just three short lines, it captures the sublime beauty of nature--the croak of the bullfrog, the buzzing of the dragonfly, the shriek of the cicada, the scream of the cormorant. Now, with Haikus for Jews, there is finally a collection that celebrates the many advantages of staying indoors. Inspired by ancient Zen teachings and timeless Jewish noodging, this masterful work is filled with insights that will make you exclaim, "Ah!" or at least "Oy!" Whether you are Jewish or you simply enjoy a good kosher haiku, these chai-kus (so called because of their high chutzpah content) are certain to amuse. What's more, with each poem limited to seventeen syllables, Haikus for Jews is perfect for people in a hurry. Find out why God has made these The Chosen Haikus.

Haiku U.

Haiku U. PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Gotham
ISBN: 9781592401284
Category : Books
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Take a hilarious crash course in literature—just three pithy lines—from a bestselling haiku humorist. Why spend weeks slogging through The Iliadwhen you could just read the haiku? From Homer to Faulkner to Lao Tzu, the Great Books are now within the reach of even the shortest attention spans. Show off your literary prowess at cocktail parties with minimal prep time, thanks to the author of the popular Haikus for Jews. In the sixteenth century, Zen monks in Japan developed the haiku, a poem consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. Little did they know that their ancient art form was destined to become a handy tool for today’s time-crunched Western reader! Reducing eyestrain and deforestation, Haiku U.distills dialogue and plot, capturing the essence of our favorite literary classics, seventeen syllables at time: Marcel Proust, Remembrance of Things Past: Tea-soaked madeleine— a childhood recalled. I had brownies like that once. Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre: O woe! His mad wife— in the attic! Had they but lived together first. Just in time for graduation, Haiku U.gives the gift of an entire literary canon, packed into one hilarious gem.

How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew

How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Extremely Limited
ISBN: 1495369161
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 140

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Book Description
Extremely Reform Judaism is one of the world's fastest growing denominations and also its most misunderstood-ever since the ancient forefathers first lifted their eyes to God to ask, "Why can't we have a Christmas Tree?" How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew pokes irreverent yet good-natured fun its subject, with chapters on the mandatory and optional Extremely Reform Jewish holidays; maintaining the Extremely Reform Jewish home; diaspora travel tips; Extremely Reform rites of passage (circumcision, bar mitzvah, intermarriage); and how to deprogram your Extremely Reform child after he has joined a religious cult. Highlights include "The Ten Suggestions"; a "Feast and Fast Yo-Yo Diet Guide to Jewish Holidays"; and "Glengarry Glen Purim, a David Mamet Purim Play." This humorous illustrated guide contains numerous quotations from ancient Extremely Reform Jewish texts, such as, "He who gives a coin to the poor is rewarded with six blessings, but he who makes a pledge to charity receives a free tote bag," and, "Thou shalt not stand outside the synagogue on the High Holy Days scalping thy tickets to the services." First published by Avon Books in 1994, the new edition preserves the content of the original in fresh paperback and ebook formats. It's an ideal gift for Hanukkah or any occasion.

Haikus for Jews

Haikus for Jews PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 9780609805190
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description


Zen Judaism

Zen Judaism PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 0307422755
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 112

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Book Description
Few spiritual practices are more intriguing or elusive than those of Zen Judaism,” says David M. Bader in the foreword to Zen Judaism. “This growing movement offers a unique way to follow in the footsteps of the Buddha, ideally without gaining quite so much weight.” These nearly 100 sacred teachings are capable “of bringing about an enlightenment experience so pure, so elevating, and so intense, you could plotz.” For you, some samples: To know the Buddha is the highest attainment. Second highest is to go to the same doctor as the Buddha. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? There is no escaping Karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

One Hundred Great Books in Haiku

One Hundred Great Books in Haiku PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780141399423
Category : Haiku, American
Languages : en
Pages : 103

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Book Description
In the sixteenth century, Zen monks in Japan developed the haiku, an unrhymed poetic form consisting of 17 syllables arranged in three lines. Now, in One Hundred Great Books in Haiku, David Bader has applied this ancient poetic form to the classics. From Homer to Milton to Dostyevsky, the great books are finally within reach of even the shortest attention spans!

The Book of Murray

The Book of Murray PDF Author: David M. Bader
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 030745326X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177

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Book Description
For years scholars have puzzled over the contrasts between modern Judaism and the world of the ancient Israelites. Leviticus explains keeping kosher, but where is the scriptural basis for pocketing a dinner roll from a buffet "for later"? Finally, in The Book of Murray, we have answers. Here is the source for such timeless teachings as "Love the stranger, but not on the first date" and "Trust not a cardiologist who chain-smokes." This remarkable biblical text, recently unearthed from a golf course in South Florida, is the surprising, hilarious, and uplifting chronicle of the Old Testament’s most unlikely prophet—Murray, son of Irving of the Tribe of Levi (Relaxed Fit). Though a poor student and a disappointment to his parents, Murray hears God’s call. Soon he is wandering the land, spreading his unique brand of wisdom, whether from a mountaintop or at a themed bar mitzvah. He reminds followers of the Ten (or so) Commandments. He boldly predicts the future of the Israelites: "Thy people will produce philosophers and scientists and novelists and Nobel Prize winners. Yet still thou wilt be unable to find the hood release on thy car." He judges a dispute between two women fighting over a cherished black-and-white cookie—all leading to the spectacular finale. Filled with divinely inspired yet practical advice ("Thou shalt not freelance"), The Book of Murray is an affectionate and mirthful romp for readers of all faiths. Study its truths, learn the prophet’s stories, and, in the immortal words of Murray (handed down by his dyslexic scribe), "Go froth and multiply."

Witness

Witness PDF Author: Ariel Burger
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin
ISBN: 1328802698
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 287

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Book Description
"In the vein of Tuesdays with Morrie, a devoted protaegae and friend of one of the world's great thinkers takes us into the sacred space of the classroom, showing Holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize recipient Elie Wiesel not only as an extraordinary human being, but as a master teacher"--

How to Raise a Jewish Dog

How to Raise a Jewish Dog PDF Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316015296
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 121

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Book Description
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.